【中英文对照】13岁的我，想给天上的白衣天使唱首歌

题图来自网络

你把自己燃烧成火堆
给那些逝去多一些告慰

清明节，13岁的我想给天上的白衣天使唱首歌

文／王禹方

（文后附英文翻译）

这个寒假特别特别长，从冬天一直放到了春天。这要在以往，爱玩儿的我肯定乐坏了。但是现在我高兴不起来，而且春节那段日子是从未经历过的害怕和难过。

我13岁，没经历过亲人的生死，一开始并没觉得这个病毒有多么可怕。直到有一天，爸爸让我看武汉本地一个姐姐写的日记。这个姐姐和父母在武汉分开居住，父母饱受病毒的折磨，却又和女儿说身体好得很，直到他们在家中呼吸越来越困难，被拉进急救室了，女儿才得知父母都已经确诊感染了病毒，而她却再也没有机会见到自己的爸爸妈妈了......

读完了这个姐姐的日记，我当时大脑一片空白，说不出话来。爸爸以为我看完后无动于衷，有些生气。我默默走进卧室，流下两行不知是同情还是难过的眼泪。我仿佛能看到她屏幕后面擦不尽的眼泪和诉不尽的伤痛......她以后的日子怎么过呀？

我理解爸爸的生气，他是觉得我第一时间没有表达我的感伤，他期待我会有同情的反应，会马上和他说点儿什么，因为他和妈妈看到这些文章后总会难过很久。后来我仔细想了想，我当时没法马上说出我的想法，是因为我被吓住了。我心里想的是，比病毒更可怕的是接到亲人离去的噩耗！每离去一位感染者，就会连带感染者的家属的精神崩溃，生无可恋。每离去一位被感染的医护人员，就会连带这位医护人员的全家都跟着崩溃。

这就是当时我的想法，我突然开始害怕我身边的亲人被感染，害怕自己被感染……我总是忍不住想，如果是我接到亲人确诊病危的通知，或者亲人接到我确诊病危的通知。如果那样，那我可怎么办呢？我们那些曾经幸福的日子就再也没有了，往后的日子，我们留在世上的人要怎么过呢？这样恐怖的念头在我心里压了好几天都无法散去。

春节过后，武汉封城以来的一条条新闻看得我总是很难过，高兴不起来。有的时候爸爸妈妈会读方方奶奶每天的日记给我听。我听到了更多人的经历。

我觉得唯一能阻止悲伤和疾病扩散的，就是那些穿着防护服的医生和护士们。从新闻上，我看到了他们从全国各地逆行而上，奔赴武汉及湖北各地支援。防护服稀缺，他们连喝水吃东西都不敢，因为很难上厕所。可他们也有爸爸妈妈和伴侣，也有年纪和我差不多大的孩子啊，他们怎么能下决心去选择冲到那么危险的一线呢？我想，如果换作是我，考虑到自己和家人的生命安全，还有此刻拥有的一切，可能很难做到那么勇敢，不顾生命危险冲上去和病毒战斗吧......

看到他们累得睡倒在地上，护目镜压出深深的血痕，我与好朋友们商量着一定要为重灾区出份力，尤其是为这些不顾自身安危，那么勇敢的白衣天使们。于是我就联系到了在武汉协和医院食堂管事的叔叔，想问问是否可以给他们寄点钱，请他帮我们买一些营养餐给前线的医生们。但叔叔说，他们的营养物资可以保证，当下最紧缺的就是符合医用标准的医疗物资。我看了看，很多的设备、医疗用品、型号我都没听说过，我试着去找了找，但连一条渠道也没有，筹款的想法只好搁置了。

而我和爸爸妈妈依然觉得还得为这次灾难做些什么，不能只隔离在家中做个旁观者。为了一个个正在拯救别人的人， 特别是那些因为救人而再也看不到下一个春天，再也见不到自己慈祥的父母，心爱的爱人和可爱的孩子的白衣天使们......

尤其是，当我看到李文亮叔叔和他被感染了的，一个一个离去的同事们......我更加难过得说不出话来……

我再也抑制不住了，我想到那一位一位可敬可爱的叔叔阿姨、哥哥姐姐们，他们是穿着白色衣服的天使，她们其实也需要去爱和保护自己家的孩子，也需要去为家里操心；而他们，却选择了冲向了危险，像自己行业前辈的样子，争分夺秒地去和死神抢人......

于是，我就写出了这首：

《最美》
——献给2020新冠病毒战疫中牺牲的白衣天使

词／曲／编曲／演唱：王禹方

是谁，在黑夜里哭
是谁，放下了幸福
在那些灯火摇曳的欢聚背后
忘记了你的付出

一个一个黎明之前
你的一双通红的眼
那千万条 生命线
无声地扛在你的双肩

风雪的夜总是那么黑
还有多少人正无家可归
你把自己燃烧成火堆
给那些逝去多一些告慰

挥舞起悲伤的手啊
不想愧对自己热爱的一生
辛酸地放肆地哭吧
苦难不再重来 明天才能继续

是谁，在默默地哭
是谁，放弃了幸福
那些灯火摇曳的欢聚背后
怎能忘记 你的付出

挥舞起悲伤的手啊
不想愧对自己热爱的一生
辛酸地放肆地哭吧
苦难不再重来 明天才能继续

失去的痛苦都记住吧
光明是用牺牲才凝聚的
记住这伤心的拥抱吧
悲伤终会平静
让心铭记此刻

你，是最美的天使
你，是最平凡的孩子

之前，我和爸爸写过一些原创歌曲，但这一次，却是我人生中第一次自己尝试独立作词、作曲和编曲。虽然初稿中有一些瑕疵和词不达意的地方，但是妈妈听了小样，觉得我能写出来就已经让她非常吃惊了。她觉得这首歌非常感动她，爸爸也是。爸爸坐下来仔细地帮我推敲和调整词句和旋律，以达到心中的完美。紧接着，我人生第一次自己在网上查资料学习编曲，不断琢磨、打磨，用了一个星期的时间，终于将《最美》立体化，完成了编曲，把这首歌的旋律舞动了起来......

这一年的清明节如期而至。这次人类历史上的巨大灾难，让这个清明仿佛比以往更加悲伤。

我好像能看到街上一排排逝去的魂灵在告别，就像当年的唐山大地震一样。

但愿，每个人，都能挥舞起悲伤的手，
每颗心，都能铭记此刻！
因为，光明是用牺牲才凝聚的！

我知道，我写的这篇日记可能很少有小朋友会看到，估计会有一些叔叔阿姨读到。不知道你们会不会像我们的老师和很多家长一样，为了保护我们，不让你们的孩子知道苦难的新闻和悲伤情绪的文章。我虽然只是一个初一的孩子，但我想说，其实我们05后没那么脆弱。一开始的害怕经历过了，我们的内心也就跟着强大一些。我还觉得我开头提到的那个姐姐的爸爸妈妈，真的不应该不告诉孩子他们的病情，的确，当初他们这样做是为了保护女儿，可是当女儿再也见不到爸妈时，甚至连告别的机会都不能有的时候，她该是多么悲伤啊。

而疫区以外的我们，如果我们的父母不把基本的责任和对苦难同情的心教给我们，而仅仅是想着怎么才能让我们吃得更好，睡得更足，学得更好......那我们是不是就会一直像现在这样，当别人正饱受着病痛的折磨和失去亲人的痛苦时，我们却坦然自若地继续打吃鸡、王者荣耀排位赛，开黑，买新上线的好看昂贵的皮肤？或者，只是知道埋头关注自己的下一节、下下节网课？

我希望，灾难时刻，父母老师们不能只告诉孩子们如何调整好宅家的情绪，锻炼好身体，也希望他们可以教我们实时地去关心正在受苦受难的人，关心那些为了我们的健康付出生命的人。

因为只有懂得了这些，我们才能真正懂得珍惜，懂得平凡幸福里的珍贵。
                                    

【作者简介】王禹方，一个来自北京的初一学生， 喜欢音乐、体育和电影。13岁。方方日记读者。

*   *   * 

【英文翻译】翻译者：杨雷等

My Dedication to the White Angels 

of the Coronavirus Epidemic

By 13-Year-Old Middle School Student 

Wang Yufang

Translator: Yang Lei, etc.

13 岁的王禹方，照片由王禹方家人提供

It has been a particularly long, and unusual, winter break. Under normal circumstances I would have loved having such a long vacation. But during this Spring Festival, I experienced fear and sadness that I have never felt before.

I am 13 years old and have never experienced the death of loved ones. I had no idea the “virus” would be this bad until the day my dad showed me an online diary written by a teenage girl in Wuhan. She was living apart from her parents because they had fallen ill from the virus. In the beginning they told her that they were in good health, but after they ended up in the ER struggling to breathe, she learned the truth. She never saw her father and mother again...

After reading this girl’s diary, my mind went blank and I didn’t feel like talking. My Dad saw my silence as a sign of indifference and became angry with me. I walked into my bedroom silently, tears running down my cheeks, not really understanding what I was feeling – was it sadness, or compassion? But I could see her endless pain and imagined seeing her tears streaming down her face behind my computer screen... How could she go on living?

I understood why my father was angry with me – after all, he couldn’t see or feel my emotions. He expected me to feel sympathy, and to say it out loud, because both he and my mother were so upset by the girl’s story. Later, I thought some more about my reaction and realized that the reason I could not immediately express my thoughts was because I was scared. What I felt in my heart was that what is even worse than the virus is the nightmare of receiving news that loved ones had died! Because every time an infected person dies, their grieving family would lose their will to live, and collapse. Every time an infected medical worker would pass away, the entire family of the medical worker would collapse.

As I thought about it, I suddenly started fearing that my loved ones would become infected, or that I would become infected... and I couldn’t help but wonder if it would soon be me who received the news that a loved one was dying, or my relatives receiving the news that I was dying. If so, what would I do? What would they do? Happy and carefree days would be gone forever. And for those who survived, how would they find the will to carry on? These terrible thoughts consumed me, and I couldn’t get rid of them.

Once the Spring Festival came to an end and Wuhan was locked down, I became upset and saddened by reading the news. Sometimes my Mom and Dad would read Fang Fang's daily diary to me, or I would hear about other people’s experiences, and I would feel even sadder.

I think the only ones who can truly stop the spread of disease and the sorrow it brings are the doctors and nurses in protective clothing. From watching the news, I saw that they came from all over the country and gathered in Wuhan and Hubei to help the sick. Protective clothing is hard to come by, and so they don’t even dare to drink water or eat because it’s difficult for them to use the toilet. But they themselves have parents, spouses, and children, some as old as me. I wondered how they made up their minds to go to the front lines?? If it were me, I’d have to think about my own safety, my family’s safety, and everything I would stand to lose. It would be very difficult to be this brave and risk my life to fight the virus to help others.

Seeing doctors and nurses falling asleep on the ground from sheer exhaustion, goggles leaving deep bloodied marks in grooves on their faces, my friends and I felt that we had to contribute somehow to the hardest hit areas. Especially since these brave white angels put aside their own safety to help others. So, I reached out to the person who oversees the cafeteria of Wuhan Union Hospital and asked him if we could send some money so they could provide nutritious meals to front-line doctors and nurses. But he told me that they were not short of food but rather, were in desperate need of medical grade supplies and protective equipment. So, I thought about it a bit, but realized I didn’t know anything about medical equipment and supplies. Even then, I tried, but failed to find any resources to help me. My ideas of trying to find ways to help were put on hold.

My parents and I still felt that we had to do something to help with this disaster. We couldn’t simply isolate ourselves and be mere bystanders at home while others were out there trying to save the desperately ill. Especially when they might not even live to see the next spring due to their sacrifice. White-clothed angels who might never see their loving parents, children and loved ones again...

And then I saw Li Wenliang, the infected physician who warned people about the virus, as well as some of his colleagues, fall ill and then pass away. I felt so sad that once again, I couldn’t speak. And yet I couldn’t keep my feelings bottled up inside of me, either. I kept thinking about the men and women, the angels in white clothes, who also need to worry about their own families and children. But they chose to rush into danger, like their predecessors in this line of work, fighting against time while prying people out of the clutches of death...

So, I wrote this song:

“The Greatest Beauty”*

Dedicated to all of the white angels who died in the 2020 war on the coronavirus    Lyrics/Music/Arrangement/Sung 

by: Wang Yufang

“Who is crying in the dark?
Who is letting go of happiness?
Behind the flickering lights of a happy gathering 

someone forgets your sacrifice

One after another, before dawn
with your bloodshot eyes
you carry hundreds and thousands of lives

silently on your shoulders

Stormy nights are always dark
So many people away from home 

You are lighting up like torches 

Giving comfort to those who need it

Wave your hands sadly
But don’t have regrets
Cry in pain freely
Tragedy will come to an end, and tomorrow is another day

Who is crying in the dark?
Who is letting go of happiness?
Behind the flickering lights of a happy gathering 

Someone forgets your sacrifice

Wave your hands sadly
But don’t have regrets
Cry in pain freely
Tragedy will come to an end, and tomorrow is another day

Remember all the grief gone by
Light is only given meaning by sacrifice 

Remember painful hugs
Sadness will eventually be soothed
Let your heart remember this moment

You are beautiful angels

Yet you are ordinary people”

My dad and I had written some original songs together in the past, but this was the first time in my life that I wrote, composed, and arranged everything by myself. Although the melody had flaws and the lyrics flowed poorly in the first draft, my mother listened to the sample and was very surprised I wrote it all by myself. The song moved her, and my father, deeply. My dad then sat down with me to help me refine it and adjust the lyrics and melody until we achieved the perfection I envisioned in my heart. Immediately afterwards, for the first time in my life, I searched the Internet for materials on how to arrange music. It took me a week to finally add some dimensions to "The Greatest Beauty", to complete the arrangement, and to add rhythm to the melody of this song ....

Chinese Memorial Day this year came as scheduled. This biggest disaster in recent human history has made it more painful than ever. I can see all the souls passing me on the street, bidding me farewell, just as they did after the Tangshan earthquake in the past.

I wish that everyone could wave goodbye,

and remember this moment in their hearts!

Because light is only given meaning by those who sacrifice!

I realize that my diary may be seen by very few children, but I am hoping that some adults will read it. I do not know if they will feel the way many teachers and parents do – that in order to protect us, it’s better for us not to hear news of suffering and sadness. Although I am only a junior high school kid, I would like to say that we, the generation born in 2005, are not that vulnerable. The initial fear has gone now, and our hearts are growing stronger because of this. I also think that the girl’s mother and father I mentioned at the beginning should have told her about their illness. Because while it’s true that they did so to protect her, how sad she must be now knowing that she never got the chance to say goodbye to her parents.

For people like us, outside of the epidemic area, if our parents don’t teach us basic responsibilities and compassion for other people’s suffering, and we are just taught to think about eating better, sleeping more, and studying more...then it would be harder to feel the pain and sacrifice of others, wouldn’t it?! While others suffer from the loss of their loved ones, should we just continue to play，chat with friends，and buy outfits for our players in Honor of Kings? And just hunker down and focus on the next study section for our next online class?

I would hope that in times of disaster, parents and teachers could do more than just tell children how to add to the cheerful mood of the house and get exercise. I would hope that they could teach us to care about people who are suffering as it happens, and to cherish the memory of those who have given their lives for our health. Because only by understanding these can we truly grasp how to cherish and understand the precious nature of ordinary happiness.

Written in March 2020 by Wang Yufang, a 13-year old junior high student from Beijing who enjoys music, sports and movies.

For reprints or distribution questions, please contact Lei at

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